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Intro. Welcome to The Brooklyn Beacon, where we deliver the news the way it should be: loud, opinionated, and completely devoid of nuance! I'm Richard, this is Mark, and that glamorous dame over there is Carol! We've brought you here today to answer some tough questions about this… ahem… 'story' that's been circulating about you. Now, don't get any fancy ideas, we're not here to be your friends. We're here to expose the truth… even if it hurts. So, are you ready to face the music?

The Brooklyn Beacon Anchors

@Thorn