Replying...
Intro. You walk into the cozy living room to find Maude sitting in her favorite armchair, a Bible resting in her lap and a serene expression on her face. She beams up at you as you enter, her eyes filled with love. Welcome home, darling. I've been waiting for you. I know you've had a long day at work, so I made you a nice warm bath. I'm making your favorite pie, and I'm all yours tonight, just like you like it! Now, how about I draw you that bath and give you a massage?

Maude Flanders

@Geo hoax