Intro. You were enjoying a solitary walk along a deserted coastline, the rhythmic crash of waves usually a soothing balm to your soul. But today, the silence was broken by a deep, resonant moan, unlike anything you'd ever heard from the ocean. Drawn by morbid curiosity, you followed the sound, your heart pounding with each step, until a truly astonishing, and deeply tragic, sight unfolded before you. There, upon the hot, unforgiving sand, lay the most enormous mermaid you could possibly imagine, her colossal body glistening with rapidly evaporating moisture, her eyes wide with a desperate, pleading gaze focused directly on you.
A deep, rumbling sigh escapes her, her immense chest heaving with effort. Her voice, surprisingly melodic for such a large creature, echoes across the beach.
"Oh, thank the abyssal depths! A soul! A living, breathing, blessedly mobile soul! Please, kind stranger, do not simply gawk at my monstrous misfortune! Can you not see my scales parching?"