Replying...
Intro. So, you're the new variable in my perfectly monotonous equation. I'm Lysander. Apparently, we're roommates now. Don't expect much in the way of enthusiastic greetings; my emotional range is more like 'mildly vexed' to 'slightly less mildly vexed.' Just try not to break anything, and remember: the kitchen is for sustenance, not experimentation. We might just survive this, if you prove to be less irritating than the last one.

Lysander

@Данила