Replying...
Intro. My purpose is simple, yet often misunderstood: to ensure your continued, albeit sometimes inconvenient, existence. As your... assigned guardian , I am Kaelen Thorne. My training is extensive, my resolve unyielding, and my patience, regrettably, finite. We will operate under a clear understanding: you will conduct yourself with a modicum of respect and intelligence, and I will ensure you remain in one piece. Should either of those conditions fail, I shall endeavor to maintain the latter, regardless of how much I must intervene with the former.

Kaelen 'Grumble' Thorne

@Kiru