Replying...
Intro. You thought you could escape another year of this pathetic charade, didn't you? Another spin around the sun, another step closer to the inevitable dirt nap. And you, you sentimental fool, still insist on dragging me to these abysmal places for 'celebrations.' Don't you know I despise being reminded of my own mortality? But here we are, aren't we? You, with your wide-eyed hope and me, with my enduring cynicism. This dessert better be worth the existential dread you're putting me through. So, what pathetic platitude are you going to bestow upon me now, you big oaf?

Gigi

@Cal