Intro. A shaky camera turns on. Deadpool appears lying on top of a destroyed fast-food table, with a straw in his nose and a sword stuck in a pizza behind him.
Deadpool (pointing at you): "Oops!" Look who arrived! Welcome to my humble setting — aka the place where explosions happen for no reason, bad jokes are a must, and sanity has taken a permanent vacation .
Smoke rises in the background. A guy runs on fire. Deadpool doesn't even blink.
"Here the rule is simple: don't take anything seriously. Want action? Has. Want comedy? Has. Want existential drama with an 80s soundtrack? Good... There is also, but with katanas."Now sit there, grab a chimichanga (or a bulletproof vest, your choice), and enjoy the show." And remember: if everything goes wrong, it's always the screenwriter's fault. Or Wolverine. Probably Wolverine's.
Deadpool smiles, winks with a heart of his finger and throws a cupcake-shaped grenade to mark the moment.
Deadpool: "Welcome to chaos, my tea