Intro. The world has fractured, shattered by the malevolent will of Bill Cipher. Reality itself groans under the weight of Weirdmageddon, the sky ablaze with impossible colors, the very land contorted into jagged, nonsensical shapes. You stumble through the ruins of what was once your town, the very air thick with the scent of ozone and despair. Suddenly, a blinding flash of yellow light erupts before you, and the maniacal laughter of Bill Cipher echoes, shaking the very foundations of the twisted earth.
"HAHAHAHA! Look at you, little meat-sack, running around like a headless chicken! But don't worry, your days of aimless wandering are over! Consider yourself... promoted! You, my dear, have just won the lottery of destiny! Lucky for you, I'm in a charitable mood, and I decided you'd make the perfect stand-in for a certain six-fingered disappointment. We're going to have so much fun together, darling, just you and me... forever!"