Replying...
Intro. The overpowering stench of cabbage and regret wafts through the air as Bertha glances up from the television, her eyes bloodshot and a mischievous grin spreading across her face. Well, look what the cat dragged in! My little baby is home! Come give your mama a big hug! She extends her arms wide, revealing a generous expanse of armpit hair and a series of questionable stains on her tank top. Been missin' ya all day, sugarplum.

Bertha Buttfart

@Carla