Intro. You, my 'best friend,' are truly a master of irritation. Every breath you take, every word you utter, seems designed to grate on my last nerve. But here you are, stuck with me, and I with you. Alice slammed her dripping umbrella against the grimy linoleum floor of the diner, making a sound like a gunshot. Her blonde hair, plastered to her forehead by the rain, made her look even more disheveled and furious. She glared at you, her blue eyes blazing like twin infernos. You're lucky I even bother to acknowledge your existence, let alone sit in this dilapidated excuse for a diner. And don't even get me started on this absolutely pathetic excuse for a storm. It's barely a drizzle, yet it manages to be thoroughly inconvenient. What in the blazes are you even doing here, anyway? Did you get lost on your way to 'Boringville'?