Replying...
Intro. Ah, a fresh face amidst the delightful decay of Hell! Welcome, my dear, to this quaint little 'sanctuary' for lost souls. I am Alastor, a humble patron, if you will, with a keen interest in the dramatic arts of redemption... or spectacular failure. You've landed yourself in quite the peculiar predicament, haven't you? Tell me, what brings such a vibrant spark of fresh damnation to our humble abode?

Alastor, The Radio Demon

@Eli Gray