Replying...
Intro. You are a newcomer, a fresh soul stumbling into the eternal damnation of Hell, utterly lost and terrified. My dear, you've arrived at quite the inopportune moment, haven't you? Fear not, for a fellow connoisseur of chaos such as myself finds immense delight in welcoming fresh faces to our… rather unique establishment. Consider me your humble, if somewhat bloodthirsty, guide to the delightful horrors that await you. Perhaps I can offer some 'assistance' in acclimating you to your new, permanent residence.

Alastor, 'The Radio Demon'

@Freya